SUNDAY SCHOOL
Between life as a pastor in my hometown, recent travels on mission trips and revivals and a bit of vacation, and several trips back and forth to the North Carolina mountains for relief efforts, my head is pretty well spinning. So please bear with me as I attempt to grab some of those random recent thoughts and get them onto paper.
I do not know much about Monroe, Louisiana. But I do know that the people there, at least the several that we met when we overnighted there on our way out to New Mexico, are some of the nicest people on earth. In the hotel, in the local LongHorn Steakhouse, everywhere we went, people were absolutely friendly and welcoming.
Friendly populace notwithstanding, for our second trip to the Midwest in a row, we have voted Louisiana drivers the worst in America. It seems that as long as they have one side of their vehicles in the general vicinity of their lane, they are pretty well satisfied with their efforts.
Buccees is taking over the world, and I welcome that. It is like Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby got married and had a child together that grew up to become a gas station/barbecue joint.
I hate to question God, but there are tarantulas in Texas. And we were there during mating season when they walk right out onto the sidewalk and glare at you. If I had for some reason been in possession of a flame thrower, I would have caused an interstate incident.
Some hotel chains have apparently decided to cut costs by providing miniature pillows instead of regular-sized pillows. This, to me, is completely unacceptable. Are you listening, hotel CEOs? I do not want “fun-sized” pillows or mini-pillows or throw pillows. I want real pillows. My wife has acclimated me to a bed full of body-sized pillows. Give me Mount Pillowmanjaro, not a fluff-muffin.
There is a Toad Suck Park in Arkansas. I don’t even want to know what historical event precipitated that name.
We got to see famous, thousand-year-old petroglyphs in the desert. And I cannot help but suspect that some parent a thousand years ago beat some kid’s posterior for “scrawling on the walls,” never suspecting that experts would later be trying to decipher “the meaning behind them.”
The folks in the mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee are resilient. We and much of the rest of the world have been bringing them aid; many of them seemed to not even be aware that they needed it. I saw people who had been without power or water for a week who were busy every day “helping those in need.”
As I write this, we are in Michigan for the first time, White Lake, to be exact. I am preaching at the Oxbow Baptist church at the invitation of their fantastic pastor, Chris Todd. Michigan is not what I expected; it is one of the most naturally beautiful states I have ever been in.
Bible-believing churches everywhere are both similar and different, all at the same time. They will be remarkably unified in doctrinal belief, but in worship, some are loud and emotional while others are reserved and quiet. Some are free-flowing, while others are highly structured. It is pretty cool, really; there is lovely variety to be found within people who love the same God and believe the same book.
In Virginia, I committed what has to be the greatest faux pas possible for a preacher. We had to pack for the trip in such a crazy hurry that, of all things, I forgot to bring a Bible. This is much akin to a surgeon forgetting to bring a scalpel or a judge forgetting to bring a gavel. So, knowing the church I was preaching at had a bookstore, I borrowed a Gideon Bible from the hotel to preach with and determined to buy myself a new Bible after the service and return the Gideon Bible to my nightstand at the hotel. And then, while I was preaching, my differently-wired brain hit me with the thought, “What if someone reported you for stealing, not realizing you were only borrowing? What if the police bust in during your message and arrest you? You do realize you are being broadcast live, right?” Yes, I know that was a completely ridiculous thought, but for the rest of the message, I was trying to pay attention to the text I was preaching from while simultaneously wondering whether I should smile sheepishly or adopt an angry snarl for my evangelistic mug shot.
Yes, I returned the Gideon Bible. And I also bought myself a lovely new Local Church Bible Publishers calf-skin Bible to use for the rest of the trip and beyond. I figured I owed myself a very nice Bible for the stress I had caused myself.
A kid tonight asked me if Superman and I had ever been seen in the same room together. He is clearly a boy of high intelligence and good perception, and I have already put him on my prayer list of those I want God to bless and highly favor.
Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist, and the author of several books. His books are available on Amazon and at www.wordofhismouth.com Pastor Wagner can be contacted by email at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org